Solitude is the state of being alone without the sense of loneliness. It is a sense of peace and calm despite being without anyone. It is the acceptance, that despite having so many or so few people in life, we need to be alone too.
Being Alone Does Not Mean Being Lonely
We are programmed to seek social bonds and social interaction. As science states, we are social animals. However our desire to belong with other and to find relationships often lead us to feel lonely and sad. We feel pain and when we suffer when we are left out or when we do not have significant people in our life such as close friends, a romantic partner, parents or a community that accepts us.
Being alone or being left out makes us feel crushed and lost. We feel sadness overwhelm us. As humans we tend to seek social interactions to find joy and happiness. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the company others, however learning to be by yourself and not craving or demanding belongingness can be truly LIBERATING.
When one is alone, one can hear his or her own thoughts and feelings. One can make time for oneself. Enjoy one’s company and entertain one’s self. By being alone, you can commune with yourself and connect with your soul.
How to Find Happiness in Solitude?
Loneliness is equivalent to sadness and feeling left out, solitude is feeling happy despite being by yourself. Finding happiness despite being alone is essential for us to face life and free ourselves from suffering and pain because in life we can never be always with others.
There will be times that you are going to be alone because you are single and you are not in a relationship while others around you are dating or getting married and having kids. There are times that you will be without friends because people around you differ from you because of your background or beliefs. Your family may even isolate you for some reason. But when you learn to be happy even when you are alone, you become truly POWERFUL.
1. Love Yourself
The key to being happy alone is being in-love with yourself. You got to love yourself like you’d love a newly born baby or a new summer love. You got to show yourself care and affection. You have got to know that you are important and you have to show it to the one person who matters – YOU!
There are so many times that we say we love ourselves but in reality, we really don’t. You don’t sleep enough because you scrolled far too many minutes or hours on your phone wasting time away.
You don’t exercise because you feel it’s not important. You don’t eat right or you hurry through your meals to get back to work right away.
But this is wrong. You have to love yourself 100% to learn that you can be happy even with just your own company.
2. Banish Loneliness When You’re Alone
When you see your friends going out together and they didn’t invite you, you feel left out and unhappy. When you’ve been wanting to be in a relationship but you can’t seem to find the one, you get lonely. But you have choose to cheer yourself up when you are alone.
DO AFFIRMATIONS. Appreciate the freedom that you have right now. Don’t feel left out. Count the things that make you happy as you are alone and be happy instead of feeling the cracks in your heart engulfing your soul.
LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO LISTEN TO YOUR OWN THOUGHTS. You have to love yourself enough to yourself the gift of time and silence. Your mind needs to rest. It needs to stop crunching the numbers and running in circles all day. You got to take a breather. You got to be able to sit quietly and listen to your breathe.
Now once you have meditated, it’s time to talk to yourself. Listen to your mind telling you your hopes, dreams, fears and affirmations.
4. Motivate Yourself
No one will ever pick you up unless you get up and choose to stand up.
You have to learn to choose to live life. You have to learn how to make goals and work on them with passion and ambition. You are not a failure. You are wonderful and you need to create a life that your future self will thank you for.
5. Date Yourself
Sounds funny right, but yes, you need to date yourself. It does not matter if you are married, dating or single, you have got to have a date with yourself even once in a while.
You have to go out and eat alone and enjoy your meal. Go shopping or watch a movie alone. You have got to know that being alone and having yourself for company isn’t so bad.
6. Have a Hobby
Yes, it may sound cliche’ but having a hobby is a must. You need an activity that you can do alone and enjoy. You need a hobby that will make you feel that being alone is wonderful. Also you need to be able to lose yourself into that hobby and find joy as you do it.
You need to learn to carve out time for your hobby.
Many adults forget to make time for their hobbies because they feel there isn’t time for it. But this is wrong. Not spending time on your passions and hobbies can make you feel drained and burned out.
7. Minimize Social Media
Too much Facebook or Instagram can make you feel more alone and miserable. You can feel envy, bitterness and even anger when you keep on looking at how others are enjoying their lives without you while you are here sitting alone and just watching their fun lives.
When you spend too much time on social media, we tend to get a feeling of loneliness and at times it eats us to the point of pain and stress.
Don’t waste your time on social media. Look at it and check it for a few minutes but don’t turn it into a hobby. Find a real hobby in lieu of scrolling on your phone.
The most important way to be happy with yourself is to write down your thoughts and feelings.
Journaling is an essential step in order to finding joy, happiness and peace. Writing your thoughts down allows you to find release and focus. It also helps you understand what truly matters. Another benefit of journaling is being able to travel back in time and revisit the past through the pages of your journal.
Solitude Can Be Soulful
Being alone is not a bad thing. It is necessary in order to find peace and solace despite the drudgery of life.
You need to learn to embrace your own company and not feel the constant need to be validated by others. You need to discover how to be happy by yourself. Finding joy in being alone is the best gift you can give yourself.